19 September 2009

After A Long, Cheap, Summer

I spent a couple of months looking for summer jobs close to where I live - at restaurants, liquor stores and the like. While most of the places were hiring, none of them were hiring me. The low point was when I failed to get a job at effin' McDicks, even though I had an in with a manager. Apparently I failed the pre-interview questionnaire, a 30 question ordeal that resembled a Facebook quiz.

This shit has gone too far, I thought, and at that moment, the obvious answer came to me - go back to the old gas station. I returned to the Shell in Oak Bay, where I spent one happy month or so last summer. I left to return to the more lucrative (snicker) Safeway, but I've always missed it.

After a bit of badgering the manager, I got my old job back, with the understanding that it was only for a month or so. More on that in a moment. It's a beautiful place to work. The customers are easygoing, the staff are friendly, and I can play my Game Boy during the slow periods. Yes, it is still a shit job, but it could be a lot worse. As I said, it's only for a month...

I'm going to do Katimavik. It's a nine-month volunteer program, fully funded by the federal government, and I leave October 7th. I expect to have many adventures, which I will tell you about in time.

Meanwhile, here are some pro tips for working at gas stations:

1. I've said it before, but seriously, coffee is key. It makes you a better person, and customers like that.

2. When cleaning lint traps in the adjacent laundromat, it's not good to open them by kicking the key into its hole with a steel toed boot. This leads to broken keys. Who would have thought?

3. Don't take shifts with a meth head.

24 June 2009

Fuck you, random internet blog.

I was wandering around the nets and I ran into this blog. After reading the article, I tried to right-click back the previous page, and this little alert box came up to notify me that I was trying to steal copyrighted material. Since I wasn't, that pissed me off. Here's the content they didn't want me to steal so very badly. You can still copy and paste it. Doh. I will not credit the original author because they're a douchebag. You can find it with Google if you really must.


Couldn't believe my Eyes!

Walked into Sam's Club in SBY today at noon with mother,wife and kids.

There was a table in the entry where they check your club card and faster than I could get my card back in my wallet an employee was handing my two daughters actual prescription pill bottles with candy packed in them. What the ...???

Now my 3 year old thinks all prescription pill bottles are just tasty snacks...
What in the world are they thinking over there?

There will be some calls on Monday morning from SBY to Arkansas to be sure.
I'm pissed, really pissed, what kind of pharmacy marketing is this...???

Meh. Who cares.

22 June 2009


So I finally sucked it up and quit Safeway. For realz this time. They won't take me back even if I ask. That was last week and I've been vaguely looking for a new job since then, but I don't really wanna. I've got enough cash for awhile...

Mainly, I'm just languishing in the fact that I never have to put another plastic bag on another 4-liter of milk ever again. Nevernevernever. I have learned. I've done a grocery store, and I've learned that it friggin' sucks ass, so I'm not going to do that again. I'm going to get some sort of qualification and get a decent job where I can sit down and take my coffee break when I damn well feel like it. Upthapunk, etc.

Yeah, it's kinda boring now, nothing to do but internet and wander around town. But I'll take a little more boredom, for now...

01 May 2009


So. Let me stress, none of the following is stuff that I have ever actually done, nor would ever, EVER do, because I am a good, responsible employee who is respectful and hardworking and not psychotic at all.

Anyway, the following is a list of things you can apparently do at Safeway and still not be fired yet.

  • Call your supervisor a dick, over the phone, when customers can hear

  • Ask another supervisor "What the hell is your problem?" when she speaks too sharply to you.

  • Snap at other employees occasionally, things along the lines of "Fucking answer when I ask a question!"

  • Flatly say "no" when a customer asks for a second plastic bag, even when another customer who overhears complains to management.

  • Rack up one verbal warning, 2 written ones, one get-sent-home and one 1 day suspension. In less than 6 months.

Obviously someone (not me) who would do things like this needs to learn to control their language, as well as their temper.

It's possible that a hypothetical employee might do things like that, though. If driven to the point of pure rage by careless and incompetent management; if forced to remain in a position that they are uniquely unsuited to even after attempts to switch departments; if they routinely interact with customers who seem to get progressively dumber with age...someone might begin to lose their self control a bit, sometimes.

This is not good. Such a person needs to find a new job, very, very soon.

31 March 2009

The Promised Long Post

Yea, so. I had a few thoughts after reading this blog post by Hugh MacLeod, a very cool, if somewhat self-congratulatory, artist. I've been trying to sort out my thoughts on God, religion, Christianity, etc, and how it fits with all my new, and unavoidable, education. What I came up with is more or less this:

When the Israelites were let out of Egypt, they were free, but they were still slaves. That is, they still had the slave mentality; the idea that someone else should be responsible for taking care of them. They didn't want to take that responsibility themselves. They asked God for a king to tell them what to do, for rules, so they wouldn't have to think. God, being kind and indulgent, said, "Fine. Have some rules, here you go. And a king, if you must." Thus, the 10 commandments and King David. Thus, the rest of Leviticus, Deuteronomy, etc.

The bible contradicts itself and chases itself in circles so much that it's almost as if it's trying to point out how silly the rules are. "Thou shalt not kill," but also, "if your son is disobedient, have him stoned at the city gates". Other silly rules about not combing two different kinds of thread in the same garment. No one can follow all of them, and it's ridiculous to try. So you look past all that, try to see if you're missing something, and there it is, a simpler way. Not necessarily easier, but simpler. Just love.

The whole point of the stupid thing is to tell us the one thing God really wants us to do, which is love on another. All the rest will follow. Just in case you're so twisted that you don't even remember what love is, it's explained in detail in 1 Cor 13; 4-8. "Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous, it is not arrogant." It is possibly the only verse in the entire book that actually makes sense. If it's the only one you ever read, and you live by it, that is enough to live properly. Trying to follow all the bullshit rules in the Old Testament will get you nowhere.

I may revise this later, reinforce my reasoning a bit, y'know.