13 July 2011

Failed Attempts, part 1

Step 1:
Decide to become a bicycle mechanic.

Step 2:
Try to fix your own bike. Make a hilarious mess of your gears and brakes. Apply for a job at a local bike shop, with your resume full of things like “good with my hands” and “cash handling experience. Never hear back.

Begin hanging out at the local hippie bike co-op. Patch a lot of inner tubes. Learn to strip wrecked bikes, adjust cranksets, install chainrings, build wheels. Put in a lot of free labor while fending off the advances of various creepy, older men who hang out there also.

Get tired of your job; quit. Plan to ride your bike to Mexico. Chicken out and downgrade your plan to riding from San Francisco to LA; do it; have a blast.

Come back to your same old job, with a newfound confidence, and further determination to become a bike mechanic. Patch more inner tubes.

Step 2 still in progress.

Step 3: ???

Step 4: Profit!

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